Bucknell University Athletics
Bucknell Women's Rowing Journal - Mary Wilson
4/28/2010 8:00:00 AM | Women's Rowing
April 28, 2010
In eighth grade I read a book called The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and I fell in love with it. It was about growing up and the experiences that come with it, and there was one part that always stuck out to me. The narrator describes a moment when he feels infinite, a moment in which he feels he has a purpose in life and has connected with people in some way. I was young when I read this, and I really did not understand the meaning of this saying, but I knew that I wanted to find something that made me feel infinite.
I searched for the feeling in a lot of places. I worked really hard in school, and don't get me wrong, getting good grades was great, but I cannot say it was truly fulfilling. I got a black belt in karate and ran a marathon, and both were awesome accomplishments, but I knew something was missing. I wanted more. And then there was crew. I have done something crew related pretty much every day since I first began college. I did it for the same reason I did all of those other things. I thought I might finally be able to relate to that feeling that I had dreamed about back in middle school. I did not have much hope that rowing would have a more satisfying result than any of my other endeavors.. Honestly, if it weren't for the friends I met and some inspiring coaches, I wouldn't have made it past freshman year. Somehow I kept coming back, and I grew to love the sport and love my team. I knew I was a part of something special, but it wasn't until four years into my rowing career that I realized I found what I had been looking for.
It wasn't some big championship race when I had my epiphany. It was just a normal, every day, 5 a.m. practice. I had a huge math test that day and had been worrying all week about it (people who know me know that I worry A LOT). I got off of the water and on the bus ride home I remembered that I had a test that day. In my 22 years of life, I had never been able to completely put a test out of my mind until it was over. But I had! I hadn't thought about it once. In fact, I hadn't thought about anything but my boat for the past two hours. It was the strangest feeling. I could not think of another time in my life when I was able to put all of my worries aside and focus on something I love doing. No feeling compares to that of knowing that I am contributing to a team. Rowing allowed me to escape from all of the stresses in my life. It helped me to connect with people and feel like I had a purpose. It made me grow emotionally, physically, and mentally. It enabled me to dream, to push, and to be pushed. It gave me the opportunity to be part of something bigger than myself. I will be forever thankful for the opportunities and experiences this team has given me.
For the past four years Bucknell Women's Rowing has made me feel infinite, and I will never forget the feeling.
- Mary Wilson '10
